Can't think of one...

I was looking into printing this blog over the holidays since this is the only journal/baby book/record I keep of my children and our life together. During this process I was going through entries from prior years and I was startled at how much I really do forget. In just one year, the children change so much. I loved spending some time with 5 year old Nina and 3 year old Rollin as well as cuddly newborn Evan as I glanced through old entries. I'm so glad my attempts at getting something down, although not always eloquent, provide me with little glimpses into our daily life and what our children were like at different ages.  Sometimes, especially lately, it is particularly difficult to find time to blog, and even harder to make it meaningful and formulate my thoughts into something worth even writing down. There has been so much swirling around in my head this past week that I sit down to write and it's just totally garbled. I hate catch-up posts, because I find those the least interesting entries to read , but I guess that's better than nothing sometimes. So hopefully this will be the last one like this for awhile.

Last week was a whirlwind of emotion. Strange in some ways, because the events of the week were fun, happy and lighthearted, however my thoughts and feelings were all over the map. I was able to visit with friends at book club, see a movie with a group of friends from the neighborhood, play an exhausting and very tough tennis match, see the incredible Picasso Exhibit with Zig and the girls, have friends over for dinner, have sleepovers and play dates for the girls, watch Rollin's cute preschool play, as well as all the regular stuff. Yet, it seemed like everywhere I turned I was reading of grief, loss, tragedy, cancer, death, you name it. In every quiet moment (yes, there actually were a few), I found myself thinking about some pretty depressing things. A family from church experienced a near tragedy for both pregnant mother and unborn child. Through a miracle, this family has come through far better than first expected, but I couldn't get them off of my mind all week. It's hard to think/accept that a tragedy could strike at any point in time and that yes, today could be my last day on earth with this family I love so much. I'm not a huge worrier, because it's not productive, but dang, I couldn't shake my thoughts this week. Gosh, motherhood sure makes you vulnerable at times. I don't like to feel vulnerable, so normally I don't allow myself to go there.  Then later in the week I stumbled upon this article, and could totally relate to the author as I've had many of the same feelings.

Zig was in China this week and usually when he travels we don't miss a beat. Life goes on as normal. We check in with each other over the phone and the kids and I go on with our routine. He didn't have cell reception, so for the first time in a long time, I was actually counting the days. And not because I needed help with the kids or relief or whatever, but because I really missed him. We all did. It didn't help that I read this entry from my SIL, Amber's, newly widowed cousin (drunk drivers suck!) and couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time I look at this blog, I find myself close to tears. Just as I was returning home from school drop-off on Thursday morning, I noticed a  familiar black car in the driveway and couldn't have been more happy to see Zig get out. I thought he was coming home late at night so what I wonderful surprise it was to have him arrive early in the morning and then work from home.

The weather has been a little dreary and we are all looking forward to spending February in Kauai. I want to be warm and I look forward to  hanging out with the kids & Zig with few distractions or commitments. Well, we have commitments, but will be missing them back at home. Oh well. Zig did a moutain bike ride this weekend called the Stinky Spoke. It took place on what is supposed to be the ugliest weather day of the year. It was actually a nice morning, but I'm glad to know the worst day is behind us :)

One of Nina's resolutions this year was to care more consistently for her bunnies. This was inspired entirely by some books she and Sela checked out from the library about rabbit care. Somehow the multiple (empty) threats from Zig and I to put the bunnies on Craigslist  several months back did nothing, but the library books changed them entirely. I think learning for themselves what bunnies need was enlightening and empowering. They came up with a spreadsheet, check-off charts and have been going strong all month. Nina rides her little bike out each day after school, puts Spotty in the backpack, and brings Spotty inside for snuggle time.  They bought grooming materials with their own money, they take them veggies in addition their regular food, and they clean their cages even more often than needed. It's a beautiful thing. And the result is they love their bunnies so much more. It's like people, when you serve each other, you love more. And this is certainly the case with animals. The bunnies are never far from their minds now. We lucked out with Spotty. He is so calm and will just sit in Nina's lap for as long as she wants. She no longer wants a little dog.





I need to wrap up but wanted to say a word or two about Sela, Evan, and Rollin.

Sela wrote a story in December at home (for fun) that was really quite remarkable. Her teacher was blown away and told Sela she should have it published. She had Sela read the story to the class before the break and I was lucky enough to listen while I was setting up for art docent in the classroom. Her classmates were all completely attentive and caught up in the story. They all clapped and several chanted "All I want for Christmas is Sela's book!" Most of the kids initially thought Sela simply illustrated another author's story. The teacher allowed time for comments and it was so heartening for me as a mom too see how kind and respectful these kids were. All the hands shot up and there were so many thoughtful comments shared. Sela had a copy bound for her teacher and this week was asked to go read for the other 4th grade class.


Sela reading "Alenka's Christmas" on Christmas Eve. 


Evan, a little man of lots and lots of gibberish, but very few discernible words, sweetly and clearly replied "I love you"  back to me this week. I have uttered those words thousands of times to this sweet boy and for whatever reason, today he decided to let me know the feeling is mutual. He melts my heart.


Unfortunately, he had a bit of a rough week, falling down stairs and other stunts. He's got his Angelina Jolie lip back, poor guy.


Rollin needs to be busy. He wakes up each morning, gets his art out, and gets after it for at least and hour or so. Sharks, dinosaurs, and dragons. I promised him that I would set up some more play dates this year. I am a horrible play date planner. They pretty much have to fall in my lap to happen. But I promised Rollin I'd do better. He loves his friends.





We finally made it down to the Picasso Exhibit, three days before its departure. Jodi and I waited in line for 3 hours, but we never have time to really visit, so it was FUN to have that time to catch up! Anyway, we got tickets for late in the evening and Zig and I and the girls came back after a busy day of basketball and birthday parties.

Sela and Nina spent a month learning about Picasso in their art classes, so this exhibit had special significance for them. Zig and I were both taken back by how large and comprehensive the exhibit was. The exhibit was drawn from the collection of the Musée National Picasso in Paris—the largest and most important repository of the Picasso's work in the world. The Musée Picasso recently closed for renovations so this may be the only time to see his works outside of Paris. "Musée Picasso’s holdings stand apart from any other collections of Picasso because they represent Picasso's personal collection—works that the highly self-aware artist kept for himself with the intent of shaping his own artistic legacy."

There were works from every major period of his life, which spanned 8 decades. Picasso was a very busy man. It is hard to believe one person could create so much in a single lifetime. Wow. I feel very unproductive after viewing this exhibit.